November 23, 2008
You’re the secret in the back of my skull.
Oh, hello there. Haven’t seen you in a while, eh?
I’ve decided to blog again. Not only because I can’t find my journal in the mess of my room, but also I just need it. Do you know that feeling? When you’ve got too much to tell anyone because it doesn’t make any sense or form any words, but you need to tell someone. The way I see it, that’s the purpose of a blog, and I’ve definitely had that feeling lately. That’s not to say that this is going to be all angsty and whiny. Hardly. Happiness is hard to communicate sometimes too, and there’s so much good in my life.
In order for me to do this and not feel really uncomfortable and strange, I made the old posts private. There were only eight, so I can justify myself with the fact that I’m not depriving you of much. But really, I am. Those posts were really emotional and kind of defined my life last spring. Which is why I’m not deleting them; I could never. I just can’t have them lingering there like the dust in the corner of a room when it’s just been cleaned. I’m starting fresh. When I actually wrote in my journals, I’d have a thousand notebooks. Not because I was so prolific- far from it. I would not write for months, and then when I decided to write, I’d need to do it in a different place.
I guess it’s because every time I’ve done this, it’s been an attempt to understand…something. Myself? Maybe, but that’s a little too deep for some of the pointless things I’ve said in blogs. They’re time wasters, but they’re also therapeutic. Whatever I hope to get from these, I keep doing them. I’ve had a journal or a blog sporadically for pretty much my whole life, and I’ve kept them all. So…let’s start up the cycle again, shall we?
